“THE SKINNY” ON WHY I’M NOT

The title for this blog has been sitting in the back of my mind for many years now and I’ve never quite had the guts to write it. For those young folks out there, “the skinny” refers to an old expression that dates back to WWII. It means the inside story, the real truth, the background.

I kind of hoped that one day I could write a version called “The Skinny” on Why I Wasn’t. As in past tense. I would reflect on they way things were when I was carrying those extra pounds and how I had overcome, how I had triumphed. I wouldn’t be so boastful as to write one entitled “The Skinny” on How I Am because I wouldn’t want to throw it in anyone’s face who hadn’t quite arrived like I had yet, but I could encourage and empower others like me who had something about themselves they wanted to change.

But today as I sit at my computer I chuckle over those dreamy ponderings of a girl from the past. Instead, here I am, wrapped up in a blanket at the computer with my Christmas stocking Chocolate Letter K half-eaten beside me, two weeks of Christmas holidays, two years of Covid and 20+ years of parenting behind me, and I know…it’s time.

Shower Inspiration

Blog titles or ideas often come to me at the strangest of times. Most ideas come from my crazy household but sometimes God just plants an idea in my head. I either use it now or save it for a later time. This one came to me clearly one day when I was in the shower. Really, Lord? Sheesh. Nothing like laying it bare, both inside and out. This was most definitely one idea that I sat on.

But as the years have gone by, I’ve grown. And no, I’m not talking wider!! Older, wiser, and more content with who God created me to be. For years the title of the blog has been poking at me, asking to be written.

And so here I go: “The Skinny” on Why I’m Not.

Beyond the Reasons

I like chocolate. I’m a parent. I live vicariously through my sons as they win provincial volleyball tournaments and my heart beats fast enough during those games to rival any cardio workout. I put myself last. I come from a tradition where every get together and family gathering centers around food. I enjoy baking. Salads take longer to make. I’ve struggled with several health issues that have resulted in being perpetually tired. I hate running. I love teatime with friends. I’m busy. Life somehow got away on me and I can’t seem to catch up.

I could come up with a thousand more reasons/excuses/explanations.

Don’t get me wrong, I like chocolate, but I don’t live on it. Salads take longer to make but we eat them regularly. I don’t overeat at all those family gatherings. I love to cuddle up on the couch with my boys, but I don’t sit there all day. I may hate running but I like going for walks and bike rides with my family.

So, what is “the skinny” on why I’m not? Maybe the real true skinny, the inside story or background info shouldn’t be about why I’m not. Maybe the real skinny should be about why I’m okay with that fact that I’m not.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be in better shape, healthier, more active. I’m not throwing in the towel. But I’m also okay with where God has called me to be today. I’m not sure I could have said that 10 years ago. But He loves me. My husband loves me. My boys love me. My friends and family love me. My students love me (well, at least I hope most of them do). And so, I finally have to believe them all and love me too.

Not Juicy Or Exciting

My downfall was to look around and compare. And I don’t think I’m alone in that. Other people’s issues might not be about “skinny,” but I know you’ve all got your insecurities too.

But those comparisons are dangerous because they are highly flawed. Just because someone embodies my notion of skinny or pretty or happy or well to do or popular with everyone, doesn’t tell me squat about them. I only see a tiny bit of the outside façade. Just the same way someone can’t look at me and make broad strokes about how I eat or care about my health.

“The Skinny” behind my story is not that juicy or exciting. I’m me. I’m His. And when I am thankful and content in that knowledge, that’s when I can say I’m okay.

And that holds true for the rest of my life too.

2022: Good Looking or Not?

2022 is here. As far as numbers go, it’s a good-looking number. All those even numbers and curvy little twos. I anticipated it for quite some time and had high hopes that it was going to be the solution to my problems, just the way “skinny” was going to make me happy.

Covid, droughts, floods, disharmony, everything that 2021 represented with its pointy, sharp-edged number one tagged on to the end, was going to be left behind and forgotten.

And then the hammer came down again.

No groups. PHOs were published. School emails flooded my inbox. Maybe 2022 wasn’t as good looking as I had imagined her to be, and those old feelings of discontentment threatened to steal my joy.

So, it’s time for me to simplify and stick to the daily discipline of thankfulness and choosing contentment. And when I do, 2022 starts to look a little less frumpy and disappointing and I can say I’m okay with where I’m at.

My goals have changed somewhat over the years but I’m not raising the white flag yet. I bought an Apple watch, wrapped it, put it under the Christmas tree and addressed it to myself. To Krista, love Krista. I’m hoping it’ll give me that little push I need.

Though I’m not sure I’m sold on it yet. The bossy little thing just told me “Time to stand.” Guess that’s my cue to stop pontificating!